


Take Her Out

by rage_quitter



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: F/F, Fake AH Crew, FakeHaus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-24 14:10:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6156145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rage_quitter/pseuds/rage_quitter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mica Burton is the best mercenary in the business. Taking out one information broker shouldn't be hard, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to ska (teamjnr on tumblr) for making me ship this and also my first legit femslash fic ayy i should write more femslash because there is not enough in this fandom

When Mica opened the door to the motel she was staying in this time around, she grinned brightly at the imposing skull-faced murderer standing there staring down at her.

“Ryan,” she said cheerfully. “What a lovely surprise!”

“Can I come in?” he asked, his voice slightly muffled by his mask.

“What, are you a vampire? Need my permission?” She grinned and stepped aside, holding out an arm dramatically.

He scoffed and went inside. Mica locked the door behind him. “So what’s Geoff want from me now?” she asked, gesturing to the table.

The two sat across from each other. Ryan reached into his jacket and dropped a manilla folder on the table and slid it over to her. “Barbara Dunkleman, code named Blawndee. Heard of her?”

Mica inclined her head as she pulled the folder over. “Information broker, right? Associated with Teeth?”

Ryan nodded. “She was allied with us for quite some time, but recently she’s been cohorting with Fakehaus. She’s been feeding us lies, as well. We want you to take her out.”

Mica raised an eyebrow as she flipped through the pages. “You want me to kill your information broker?”

“She’s a liar and she’s working with our rival. We need to show Burns that he needs to keep his members in line. Without Ray, we’re too short on men at the moment to risk sending someone out to get her, or I would cut out her tongue myself.”

Mica closed the folder. “All right, doesn’t seem too difficult. Got a number?”

“Five digits, at least,” Ryan said, leaning back. “Geoff’s willing to negotiate.”

“Hmm. I’ll be touch, then,” Mica told him with a coy smile.

By the end of the week, Mica had worked out a deal with the leader of the Fake AH Crew and was settling in Fakehaus territory. As a mercenary, unassociated with any crew, she had much more freedom than the Fakes with traveling through gang-owned territory. It was another reason Geoff had wanted to hire someone to do the job, and Mica was one of the best.

Still, she needed to be careful. The last reports were of the Queen in AH territory; she needed to be subtle, and not scare Fakehaus with her presence. Even as she was renting her hotel room she was calling a few friends to slip reports in the papers and underground that she was elsewhere.

With the Queen stationed out of state for now, Mica was free to wander Fakehaus territory. She spent a few days tracing them, and in keeping touch with the AH Crew and their hacker, found where Fakehaus’s headquarters were. Much like with Ramsey’s crew, they all stayed mostly in the penthouse apartment of their leader, Adam Kovic.

Now, she needed to locate Blawndee. Mica kept an eye on the various members of Fakehaus. One of them had to be meeting with her.

Finally, she saw it. Dunkleman heading into a nightclub, and a few minutes later, the demolition and interrogations expert of Fakehaus followed. Mica went in shortly after.

She never could have predicted the curveball that Dunkleman threw at her. She was with Fakehaus, all right, in more ways than one. Elyse was tucked under Dunkleman’s arm, a glass of something in one hand and the other somewhere under the table. The utter affection in their eyes as they looked at each other put a little twist in Mica’s gut.

Mica tugged at the collar of her shirt, where her phone was tucked into her bra, having no pockets and not trusting of this town to safely carry a bag in the club. She should call Geoff.

Sudden movement beside her startled her. She grimaced as the stench of too strong beer washed over her and the man who’d sat beside her at the bar leaned too close. “Hey, pretty lady, wanna drink?” he slurred loudly over the music.

“Uh, no thanks,” she said, leaning away.

The man leered at her. “Come on, just one, eh? You here with anyone?”

“Uh--”

“Oh, there you are!”

Mica jumped as a soft hand tapped her on the shoulder. She turned her face to see Elyse grinning at her. “We’ve been looking for you everywhere!” she said. Beside her, Dunkleman had knives in her eyes despite her bright smile. “Glad you made it!”

Before Mica could react, Elyse pulled Mica into a hug and hissed in her ear, “We’ll get you away from this creep.”

Mica could handle herself, one drunk pervert was no threat to her, but she had a cover to keep. She returned the hug with an equally cheerful smile. “Didn’t see you guys in here!”

The man was scowling now.

“Come on, then!” Elyse grabbed her elbow and pulled her away from the bar. Dunkleman led them around the dance floor to the table they’d been occupying.

“Thanks,” Mica said as they all sat down.

“What a fucking creep,” Dunkleman said.

Elyse was pulling out her phone. “Are you okay?” she asked Mica as she sent off a text.

Mica nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. A little grossed out, but he didn’t do anything.”

“Good. I would’ve had to cut his arms off,” Dunkleman said. “And I do not want blood on this shirt.”

Mica looked down to see the outfit she was wearing. “Oh, that’s really cute!”

“Right?” Dunkleman grinned. “I’m Barbara, by the way.”

“Mica,” Mica said.

“I’m Elyse.” She stuffed her phone back in her pocket. “Sorry, my friends are worried. They don’t like us going out for that exact reason even though we are perfectly capable grown women.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” Mica said. “I just needed a little break from them. Sometimes being friends with too many guys can be such a pain.”

“Oh, my God, right?” Elyse relaxed into the cushy bench. “Not to mention, they have no sense in fashion at all. Well, I guess Joel does, but seriously, the other guys are just t-shirts and jeans.”

Joel was Fakehaus’s infiltration guy, Mica recalled. Much like Gavin, but less English. “I so get that.”

“Well, hey, if you wanna have a girls night, we’ll be more than happy to hang out,” Barbara offered.

“Hell yeah,” Elyse agreed.

Mica considered. Her heart was jumping. This was the perfect opportunity to get close to them. “Sure, why not?”

She _might_ have made a small mistake, she thought later through the tipsy haze in her mind. Mica had one too many drinks, but Elyse and Barbara were very friendly and also very pretty. They were nothing but nice and funny, and if Mica wasn’t misreading it, both of them were flirting pretty heavily with her as they sat for hours chatting. It was a damn good thing Mica had her cover story memorized.

What wasn’t a good thing was how much she liked them. Mica was a professional. She didn’t let personal feelings get in the way of a job. But it was hard not to find Barbara charming, and Elyse was completely adorable. It was obvious that they were smitten with each other, and Mica understood Barbara’s swaying allegiance.

Barbara set down her glass and gave Elyse a raised eyebrow. The smaller woman grinned and nodded. Both turned to Mica as she sipped her drink.

“Hey,” Barbara started. “Feel free to say no, or whatever, no hard feelings at all, okay?”

Mica felt a little shiver.

“We were wondering,” Elyse went on, “if you’d want to maybe get outta here with us?”

Mica pulled the straw from between her lips. “You mean…”

“If you wanna have a threesome,” Barbara said bluntly with a bright grin.

Elyse and Mica both burst out with laughter at Barbara’s subtlety.

Mica shouldn’t. This was her target, she should poison her drink and leave. Call Geoff and tell him that Elyse and Barbara were dating. Mica was a killer, dammit.

“You know what? Sure.”


	2. Chapter 2

Mica woke up one morning, a week and a half later, warm and a little sore, in an apartment that was becoming too familiar.

She blinked and looked down at the two women curled loosely around her. Elyse on her side, tucked up against her, wrapped in the sheet with her arm draped over Mica’s waist. Barbara was on Mica’s other side, snoring softly as she lay on her stomach and her nose burrowed in Mica’s shoulder. Their legs were all tangled together.

They looked so peaceful, despite the fresh lovebites and the older scars that marred Elyse’s skin from her rough lifestyle, scars not so different from the ones that criss crossed Mica herself. Barbara was lacking in such markings but had one nasty jagged scar on her stomach that made Mica ache to look at. 

After a moment, Elyse shifted. Mica watched her stir, and her eyes blink open. She let out a sleepy sigh that was unfairly cute and reached up to rub the sleep from her eyes.

“Hi, Mica,” Elyse whispered, seeing her awake.

“Morning,” Mica replied quietly. 

Elyse smiled, her eyes a bit unfocused as she woke up. “What time is it?”

“No idea,” Mica said. “I just woke up.”

“Babs is still sleeping?”

Mica nodded. 

“Good,” Elyse said. She blinked a few times and her look sharpened. “I know who you are.”

Mica froze.

Elyse sat up, holding the sheet loosely to her chest as she held Mica’s eye. “You’re a mercenary. You’ve been watching us.”

Mica gaped.

“We’ve got cameras everywhere. Larr didn’t recognize you, but I’ve seen you before, Queen.”

_ Oh, shit _ .

“I don’t know why you’re here. You were just with the Fake AH Crew. I don’t think it’s for anything good.”

“I--” Mica couldn’t think of anything to say.

Elyse tipped her head a bit. “Which makes me wonder why you agreed to do this? To get so involved with us like this?”

“I shouldn’t have,” Mica murmured. “My employer’s gonna be pissed if he finds out.”

“If?”

“I don’t really plan on telling him,” she said. 

“Ramsey,” Elyse guessed.

Mica nodded.

“Well, you don’t work for him,” Elyse said. “You know, we can use someone like you.”

Mica felt a smile curl on her face. “Are you offering me a job?”

“I’d have to talk with Adam about it first, but you’re one of the best. Plus, I would not be opposed to doing this a lot more often.” She giggled.

Mica covered her own laugh with her mouth so she wouldn’t disturb Barbara. “You know? That doesn’t sound half bad. Sorry, Geoff.”

Elyse grinned widely. “What was your job for Ramsey?”

Mica’s smile faded. She looked down at Barbara, sleeping peacefully beside her. “He wanted me to take Barbara out for betraying the Fake AH Crew. I understand why she did it, now.”

Elyse’s smile was wry. “Well, that definitely complicates things, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, little bit,” Mica said. “I really was going to just use this as an excuse to get close and do my job but, uh. Yeah, might’ve gotten a little closer than intended.”

“Is that bad?”

Mica brushed a stray lock of hair from Barbara’s face. “No, not at all,” she answered immediately. “Geoff can suck a dick, I don’t think I’ve been this… this happy in any sort of relationship in a long time.”

Elyse smiled softly and laced her fingers in Mica’s. “This won’t be easy,” she warned.

Mica nodded. “Part of the job, right? We could kick it any moment. But we can make it work.”

Barbara made a small sound and moved. The other women watched as she rubbed at her face and yawned. She blinked blearily a couple times and mumbled something unintelligible. 

“What’s that, sunshine?” Elyse asked, looking fond and amused.

“What’re you talkin’ about?” Barbara asked. Her words were slurred with sleep.

“We’ll tell you when you’re more awake, Babs,” Mica told her. She leaned down to brush a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Mmkay.” Barbara tightened her grip on Mica and nuzzled into her neck. “Coffee?”

Elyse slid out of bed. “I’ll go start the coffee pot,” she said as she tugged on a shirt and sweatpants from a drawer of the dresser. “Join me whenever you’re ready.”

Mica and Barbara cuddled in bed for another couple of minutes, Mica lazily tracing patterns on Barbara’s shoulder and admiring the difference between the pale of Barbara’s skin and the dark of her own, especially with the soft lilac that Barbara had painted her nails yesterday. 

Eventually, the two got up and threw on whatever clothes they found. Barbara clung to Mica as they wandered through Barbara and Elyse’s apartment to the kitchen. Elyse was staring at a package of bacon like it would cook itself if she stared at it long enough. Mica sat Barbara at the table and shooed Elyse off so she could make breakfast. 

As she listened to Elyse talking to Barbara about benign things and the bacon sizzled in the pan, Mica felt something warm bubble in her stomach. This was so domestic. So unlike her dangerous life. It felt safe and warm and secure. She turned to smile at the two blonde women, almost overwhelmed with emotion for a moment. 

Breakfast cooked, they got plates of food and playfully fought over coffee and cream before settling down at the table together. They ate in silence for a minute.

Barbara swallowed her mouthful of eggs and looked up at the two. “So, what was it you wanted to tell me?” she asked.

Elyse and Mica shared a look. Finally, Mica sighed and set down her fork. “Babs… I’m not actually a travelling model. I’m a mercenary. Specifically, I’m the Queen.”

“Ramsey hired her to kill you, but she’s turning down the job,” Elyse added.

Barbara looked at Mica. Mica shifted uneasily.

“I know,” she said.

Elyse coughed, nearly choking on her bacon. “You know?!”

“Elyse, babe, it’s my job to know things!” She laughed. “I’m an information broker!”

“You’re not mad?” Mica said, worried.

Barbara shook her head. “Nope. I know how this business gets. You were protecting yourself and protecting us. I understand. You also didn’t act on it, so I know we can trust you.”

Mica laughed and grabbed Barbara’s hand to press kisses to her fingers. “Oh, thank God,” she said. Elyse was grinning as well.

“Remind me to talk to Adam today,” Elyse said.

“Mica,” Barbara said. “Do you want to move in with us?”

Mica blinked. “Really?”

“I know it might be a little early,” Barbara said quickly. “But I mean, when we’re involved in crime and everything? I think it’s worth it, you know? I really want you to be with us.”

Elyse looked hopefully at Mica.

Mica, again, felt overwhelmed. “Yeah! Yeah, I absolutely will,” she said. 

Elyse grinned widely and leaned across the table to pull Mica in for a kiss before Barbara stole Mica’s lips. “Aw, gross, you taste like bacon,” Barbara said with her nose scrunching.

“Gee, wonder why?” Mica teased.

The three women laughed.

“You know what,” Mica suddenly realized.

“What’s that?” Elyse asked.

“When Ryan came to tell me about this job, his exact words were ‘take her out.’ I guess I am doing that. Just in a different way than intended.”

Barbara gaped at her as Elyse laughed at the pun. “I love you.”


	3. Chapter 3

Geoff’s fingers shook on his bottle as he lowered it from his lips. “I can’t fucking believe her!”

Ryan’s hands were much different from Geoff as he ran his knife slowly along the sharpener. Where Geoff was shaking and raging, Ryan was terrifyingly steady and calm. It hid his absolute fury. “What are we going to do?”

Geoff ran a heavily inked hand through his already mussed hair. “Someone needs to go in and put the scare in her, too. We can’t let shit like this keep happening. We need to stay on top.”

“Send in one of our own, then,” Gavin suggested from his seat on the table. “We can go without one person for a couple days, yeah?”

“We can’t risk any of the six of us right now. We gotta stay here for the heist next week. Who’s not doing anything?”

Steffie flipped through the binder full of spreadsheets. “Trevor’s not too busy,” she said. “Lindsay, either.”

“Lindsay,” Geoff said, pointing at Steffie. “Send her in. I need Trevor to help Ryan with something tomorrow.”

Steffie immediately pulled out her phone to text Lindsay, and within a minute she was ambling into the room with a look of curiosity on her face. “You rang?”

“Are you busy for the next week or so?”

Lindsay shrugged. “Not really. You need me for the heist?”

“No. I have a different job for you.”

Armed to the teeth and heavily armored, Lindsay sped into Fakehaus territory in a plain black sedan fortified with bulletproof everything. Her face was grimly set. This was not a job she was very eager to take on, but betrayal bit at her. She’d been friends with Mica! Friends with Barbara!

And if she had a small (not so small at all) crush on Mica, well, that was the salt in the wound.

She would not enjoy this.

It took Lindsay a little over a day to find Mica. When she did, seeing her laughing with two blonde women--with Barbara!--made bitterness twist in her gut. Mica was dressed nicely, heading into a restaurant with Barbara on one arm and the other woman on the other. Lindsay wracked her brain for a moment. Elyse, she realized. Of course. Who else?

Lindsay saw red for a moment and gritted her teeth. Fuck it, she decided. She would come do her job. So what if they were in the middle of a date?

She shuffled through the car, pulling on a skeletal mask borrowed from Ryan and zipping her leather jacket over her body armor. She had knives strapped at her belt along with two pistols. She dug an assault rifle from the heap of weapons wrapped in the backseat and loaded in a clip.

Screams erupted the instant she stepped in the restaurant. Of course they did; who wouldn’t, faced with a grinning skull and the bloodstained jacket so signature of the Vagabond? Lindsay wanted maximum fear, and Ryan was more than happy to loan her a jacket and mask. 

Lindsay held the gun aimed at the table where Mica was sitting, frozen in horror. Elyse was staring at Lindsay, and Barbara was similarly unmoving.

With one hand, Lindsay gestured to the door, silently telling the other patrons to get the fuck out. The three sat still, faced with the muzzle of Lindsay’s gun, as people scrambled for the exit. 

Lindsay kept the gun trained on them as she made sure the restaurant was empty.

“Ryan,” Barbara said weakly when she turned back to them.

Mica shook her head. “That’s not Ryan.”

“What?” Elyse hissed.

Lindsay reached up and pulled the mask up and off her head. Mica swallowed as Lindsay threw it on the table in front of her.

“Do you have any fucking idea the trouble that you have caused us?” Lindsay snarled. “Because you couldn’t do one fucking job.”

“Lindsay-” Mica started.

“One target! A fucking liar, a no-good cheat, a traitor.” She spat the word at Barbara, who flinched under Lindsay’s glare. 

“Lindsay, please-”

“You betrayed us! Both of you! How could you?” Lindsay’s voice cracked. “We trusted you! I--” She took a deep breath. “We won’t be making that mistake again.”

“Listen,” Mica pleaded. “Please, Lindsay. Hear me out.”

Lindsay shook her head. “No, I don’t want to listen to you. Whatever you have to say to me is worthless, you traitor.”

Mica looked pained. “I… please, Lindsay. Just let me explain. Haven’t you ever fallen in love?”

Lindsay stiffened. 

“It changes a lot of things. It changes everything. I didn’t mean to betray you, I’m so sorry. Barbara and Elyse started dating and that’s why she changed allegiances. I’m not saying it’s right, but please understand. She wanted to keep Elyse safe.”

“And we wanted to keep ourselves safe from them, which is why we hired you! What if one of us gets killed because of this?”

All of them shuddered at the thought, looks of guilt and fear clear on their faces.

“It doesn’t have to be like this, Lindsay,” Mica said softly.

“Doesn’t it?” Her voice broke and tears were welling in her eyes. “Clearly, you’ve made your choices.”

“No,” Mica said. “We can work something out. Elyse, can’t we?”

Elyse jumped at the sound of her name. “What do you mean?”

Understanding dawned on Barbara’s face. “An allegiance.”

“Between… the AH Crew and Fakehaus,” Elyse finished with a small gasp. “You’re right.”

“I… that’s ridiculous,” Lindsay said. But the venom had left her voice, leaving only uncertainty now. “Geoff would never agree to that.”

“He would if it would keep everyone safe,” Mica reasoned. Slowly, she stood and approached Lindsay. Lindsay didn’t stop her as she took the assault rifle and set it on a table. Mica gripped her hands around Lindsay’s. “And so would Adam. Think about how strong they would be. They can be separate, but work together. They would be unstoppable. No more fighting with each other.”

Lindsay’s hands shook in Mica’s. “How could we even convince them?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Mica admitted. “We could take it up with Adam first.”

“We?”

“Well, yeah.” Mica smiled at her.

Lindsay felt a squeeze in her chest that was far too heavy. “Mica… you still betrayed us. You betrayed me.”

Mica reached up to wipe a tear from Lindsay’s face. “I’m so sorry,” she said quietly. “I never meant to. I know that doesn’t fix it, but I love them, Lindsay.”

Lindsay choked a little and looked away. “I know what love can do,” she managed. “That’s why you’re alive right now.”

Mica stared at her, open mouthed in shock. Lindsay swallowed and stepped back.

“Lindsay…?”

“I think I’ve said enough,” Lindsay said, her voice shaking as badly as her hands. She squeezed her eyes closed, trying to will away tears.

Gentle fingers pressed a napkin into her hands. When she looked down, the fingers were too light to be Mica’s. Barbara’s face was sympathetic as Lindsay looked up at her. “I’m sorry,” she said. “This is all such a huge mess.”

Lindsay sniffed and wiped at her eyes with the napkin.

“We can fix it,” Elyse said. “Nothing is ever so thoroughly fucked that it can’t be fixed, right? Especially by us. We’re all incredibly strong, and incredibly hot ladies, we got this.”

The statement brought a tiny smile to Lindsay’s lips.

“Yeah, we can do this,” Mica said confidently. “All four of us can convince them to change their minds and work together, or at least stop fighting like murderous four year olds.”

“You think so?” Lindsay said.

“Hell yeah,” Mica answered with a grin. 

Barbara suddenly brightened. “Hey, you know what, in the meantime? Lindsay, you gotta get on a dress and join us, okay?”

Lindsay looked startled. “Huh?”

“Yeah!” Mica glanced at Elyse, who nodded. “We can talk things over. And… hell, we’re already three, join our date.”

“I… are you…”

“Sure,” Elyse said easily. “I have been curious about the mysterious redhead of the AH Crew. You don’t need to throw yourself in headfirst, just one little date.”

“We can talk about this more once you’re in something less stabby and bloody,” Barbara said. “If you want. No pressure! We’re totally okay if you don’t want to.”

Lindsay looked between the three hopeful faces. Slowly, she nodded. “Sure,” she said. “I can try one date.”

One turned into two, into three, and then they were all talking with Adam about ending the feud. Then four, five, and Lindsay was growing comfortable and happy with her unusual relationship. 

Getting Geoff to agree to discuss a possible allegiance with Fakehaus would be easier said than done. They all knew this. But as Lindsay stood outside the door to Geoff’s office with Mica holding her hand, Barbara’s reassuring hand on her shoulder, and Elyse running soothing fingers through her hair, she felt confidence flood her veins as she knocked.


End file.
